A post to finally justify the somewhat ridiculous URL of my page: last night in a bar-slash-whatever (places are seldom just pubs anymore, they are generally funkified combinations of that and nightclubs) I saw a perfectly formed girl (by my specifications: delicate but not too thin) with a beret and tanned skin in the absence of daytime light sitting on a stool, and in front of her there was an attractive guy with a three-day old beard who was also on a stool facing her. They were kissing each other every so often, which is not so unusual in the circumstances, but they did it with a tingling anticipation that was lacking in other pashing couples. It was a scene that captured my attention for a few seconds. Then she put her hands on her lap on top of her thighs, flat with the palms down, and moved them a centimetre forward. In that instant I saw subtle sex pulse through her. I thought: there’s a possibility that those two might be committing to having sex with each other, maybe not tonight but sometime in the future. This is sounding like voyeur territory but from the snippets that I glanced in my ‘I don’t want to be here’ awkwardness, it was one of the sexiest things I’ve seen. Let’s face it, workaday life is not full of these moments and TV sexiness is not sexy, it isn’t real.
Call this foolish, but I think women have sex embedded in their genes, a certain style of eroticism and movement during sex that us chimpanzees with penises will never be able to replicate. They also have dance within them too, an innate understanding of movement that again, us men don’t have. I guess what the two things have in common is movement, sensuality, feeling. My judgement is skewed by sexual desire, but women are the ones who bring the beauty to our race, who make it worth anything. They are the ones most responsible for that elusive subtlety and magic that sometimes happens.
I can be in touch with it too, but since these qualities don’t actually affect anything in our knockabout world, I’m left floundering because my subtle abilities (writing, languages) do not get cabinets built, or roads designed, or food produced. As James Brown sang, “This is a man’s world.” And perhaps that’s the problem.
P.S. A google image search for ‘sexy’ and ‘sensual’ came up with a lot of skin and a bunch of asses waved to the camera, and missed the point entirely.